TRUJILLO FAMILY NEWS 2019
Happy New Year (the last one sucked)
I am off to a late start this year but have decided to spend no more than 24 hours in writing this year's update. Let's get started.
For those of you unfamiliar with the format of the newsletter, here are a few items to refresh your memory. I will refer to my children and grandchildren by number (I can't remember all 16 of their names and don't expect you to either). I believe this is an efficient way to keep track. Oldest is #1, his children are #1.1 and #1.2. His wife is #1G. You get the point.
Pillow Talk
During the summer of 2018, my mother was having serious health problems (this was sucky, but it does have a funny and happy ending). I flew to Baltimore to be with my family; it was looking grim for Mom. My mother will refuse a Band-Aid® unless she is the one who puts it on; many medical treatments, therefore, are off the table.She believes in euthanasia and has expressed her desire to die with dignity. Jokingly (I hope), my mother has tasked each of us use a pillow to end her life when the time comes (we call it "pillow talk"). She assures us that she will do the same for us when the time comes. I need to leave an "I'm just napping" note on my chest when resting on the couch at my parents' home to avoid any confusion on the pillow matter.
With this in mind, my mother is in a very weakened state at the hospital and moans out "hospice." Somehow, the entire medical community in Baltimore makes it happen. The only problem was - my mother was not dying, and we later discovered it would be hard to convince the medical professionals of this fact.
While in the hospital, the doctors discovered that she was eating Tums by the bushel. Her calcium levels were off the chart, and her "plumbing" was not working (we don't talk about bodily functions in my family) and close to failure.
My mother was then discharged from the hospital and sent home to start hospice. A real hospital bed arrives at my parents' home and is placed in the middle of the living room. My father is given a detailed list of instructions and a mystery box that is placed in the refrigerator. The contents of the box are not known, but we are told when the time comes, open the box, and follow the directions. Sound pretty ominous to me.
It turns out that the saline solution in the hospital seemed to have helped the plumbing issue. A few days at home in the "hospice" bed gave her the rest she needed and restored her enough to sit up and get around the house. Soon we even went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. We could tell she was getting better since my father was getting on her nerves, and she retaliated with a round of heavy teasing.It was easy to get my mother into hospice. However, she did not cooperate (she did not die in other words), which makes getting out of hospice so difficult (hospice is designed to end differently). None of the medical professionals knew how to exit the program, and it took a bit of convincing for them to collect her bed.
They did not collect that mystery box, however, and my mother has decided to keep it in case my father steps out of line.
BAND-AID® is a registered trademark of Johnson & Johnson (just in case they are listening in).
Grandchildren
We are increasing the number of Trujillos in this world, and the latest member of the team is #2.4. He is called Dean and belongs to Son #2 (he is called Todd) and daughter-in-law #2G (she is called Jessica). I discovered that I can only play with toddlers for about 10 minutes before I get bored. I did make a great video welcoming Dean to this world. I hope you enjoy it. (Video Link)
The couple apparently feels that their 4 children, 2 dogs, and a cat are not enough in their lives and will be expecting a girl in early 2020. #2.5 will be my 8th grandchild.
For those of you who follow me on Facebook, you know that I have a soft spot in my heart for youngest granddaughter (#5.1 - Sarah). I discovered that being around boys for most of my life (I have only brothers and sons) that granddaughters are pretty damn special.
Recently Sarah was a bit sassy to me, and I reminded her that a new baby was coming into the family in January. Sarah quickly figured out that her top ranking was in jeopardy and straightened right up. It really works!
Thomas John Trujillo - April 10, 1968 - September 25, 2019
This next story really sucks but important to tell. My little brother, Tommy, ended his life tragically and suddenly. It still hurts to talk about it, but many funny stories came out of this tragedy. I find it helps to cope.Tommy was the youngest of the 4 brothers, which meant that we thought he was spoiled, and he felt he was mistreated. He would often complain about some kind of inequity growing up. "Dad, how come Mike gets to sit in the front seat." You get the idea.
Tommy suffered from mental illness - something many families have a hard time dealing with. It turns out, our family is not very good at grieving either. We tend to avoid any kind of memorial ceremony. We did not grow up in a religious family, and many of us are uncomfortable in a church. The script we follow when a family member dies is to quietly get the loved one's body, head to the crematorium, then head back home with the box (morbid but true). With our script in hand, we all head to Iowa to get Tommy and bring him back to Maryland quickly. What we did not anticipate is just how awesome the people in Iowa were.
The first night in Iowa, we meet the Ropas who were biking buddies of Tommy (Harley kind of bikes --- not Schwinns). We laughed, cried, and we all took a shot of a horrible whiskey in honor of Tom.
The hero of our visit was Tammy (Tommy's ex-wife). She helped our family in so many ways and suggested a funeral home to handle Tommy's remains. She helped to set up a last-minute memorial service; before we knew it, we were off the script. The service was wonderful, and something our family needed to do. Thank you so much, Tammy!
We were then wrestling with the details about next steps and somehow had a debate about the size of the box that would contain Tommy's ashes. There was a LONG discussion on the topic (we almost bet on it). This went on over several days.
Finally we are back on the family script. My father drives us to pick up Tommy's ashes, and Dad is pleased to have correctly estimated the size of the box. My brother Jim places Tommy into a bag, then into a larger piece of luggage, and straps Tommy into the back middle seat next to me. "Dad", I whined, "Tommy is hogging up the back seat." Some things never change.
We will miss Tommy, and take joy in knowing that he has a place in the hearts of so many people. Tommy is also a Baltimore Ravens fan, and I think he might try to see if he can help them win the Super Bowl this year.Note: The picture of the Trujillo jersey is a gift from Tommy’s son Matthew. It is framed and proudly hanging in my brother Jim’s bar in downtown Baltimore.
This year’s edition of the Trujillo Family News is using the purple and gold of the Baltimore Ravens in honor of Tommy.
Mike's Sucky and Nice List for 2019
You should always look for the good in all things and avoid complaining. If you must complain (and I must), then start off by saying something nice.
Addendum - Trujillo Decimal System - Decoder Ring
2 - Brenna and Adam are separated. She is still part of our lives but surrenders her number once the divorce is finalized. This is one of the rules of the Trujillo Decimal System.
3 - Currently the favorite grandchild - but I am always open to replacements.
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